Zvi Mowshowitz recommended the book This is How You Lose the Time War on his blog. He said to read the book blind. I bought a copy and read it blind.
On the back cover of This is How You Lose the Time War is a summary selling the book to readers. I do not know what the summary says. I have never read it.
Super Bowl Sunday
On February 8, 2026, I bicycled to Pike Place Market where I buy groceries. Most of the stores were closed. That’s because it was Super Bowl Sunday. Fortunately, Pike Place Market Creamery was open. The cashier appeared bored, and was scrolling through her phone.
“I hope you’re working because you want to and not because somebody had to take this shift,” I said.
The cashier said she wasn’t into football.
“I understand,” I said, “I found out a friend was having a Super Bowl party that I wasn’t invited to, so I asked him to invite me. He graciously acquiesced. Then I realized I just wanted to be included. I didn’t actually want to watch the Super Bowl. So I told him I wouldn’t be going.”
On my way out of the market, I passed the famous pig. A family of Taiwanese tourists were gathered around it, confused. I heard the word “魚”, which is a pictograph of a fish. They were looking for the fish throwers.
“歡迎！對了。魚人在這裡每天推魚。但是，今天是 Super Bowl（超級碗子）。Super Bowl 是美國最大最重要的 sport。今天，西雅圖屬於兩個體育團參加最大的比賽。所以，所有人都回家看電視。魚人昨天來了。他們明天來。他們今天早上推魚了。現在他們不在,” I said. [This Chinese is not entirely correct, but it communicated the important information.]
I thought that was fun adventure so I raced back to the creamery to share my story with the cashier before her shift ended.
“The quiet is nice,” I said.
She agreed.
Super Bowl Wednesday
That Wednesday, I went grocery shopping at Pike Place Market again. I found out that Seattle had won because the streets were packed with people, the streets were closed to cars, and there was a giant parade through the city.
Normally I like it when the streets are closed to cars because it makes bicycling safer and more pleasant, but there were so many people celebrating I had to walk all the way to Pike Place Market and back. The ordeal was so awful I had to take the next few days off from work.
Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die
On Thursday, I noticed that my Google Calendar said “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die comes out”. I knew Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die must be a movie, but I had forgotten was the movie was about. It had been months since I had watched that trailer that caused me to put Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die on my Google Calendar.
I trusted my past self and went to see the movie. As soon as the movie ended, I sent the following message to Rowan and separately to the Postman.
You have been selected for a mission. Do you accept?
[Y/n]
They both accepted. I sent them the following message:
Until your mission is complete, you must avoid the following media like the plague.
- algorithmic media feeds (including YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Snapchat, Spotify, Netflix, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitch, Substack, reddit, LessWrong, Facebook, Instagram, etcetera). Direct messaging is permitted, such as via Facebook Messenger and Discord.
- news media
- videogames
- virtual reality
- video of any kind, except “The Matrix” (1999), “Tenet” (2020), and “Everything Everywhere All At Once” (2022)
{An exception is permitted for media necessary to your employment.}
Do you accept? [Y/n]
Rowan wanted an estimate of how long this would take. I estimated 2 weeks. The Postman said he might be leaving on a work trip as soon as 1 week. I revised the estimate down to 1 week.
They asked if partial waivers could be granted to the media restrictions. Yes, but only on a case-by-case basis, and only with careful justification.
Rowan asked if they were allowed to know what the mission was before they accepted it. I said no.
They accepted these terms.
Do you know what “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die” is a reference to? [Y/n]
DO NOT LOOK IT UP
They answered “no”.
Welcome to The Time War, where ignorance is ammunition. You are leader of team RED. Your mission has two parts.
Part 1 is to assemble a team of exactly 6 people (including yourself) who answer yes-yes-no to the above 3 questions.
When your team is ready reply “RED team assembled.”
[The Postman got this same message, except with “BLUE” instead of “RED”.]
It is imperative that you and your team remain ignorance of what “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die” is a reference to. The media restrictions are to protect you and your team from this information.
BLUE Team Leader assembled his team of 6, named me “WHITE”, and requested that I change “team leader” to “Actual”. Thus, he became “BLUE Actual” and I became “WHITE Actual”.
RED Actual came down with the sniffles. I didn’t want him incentivised to infect others, so I revised his quota down to the team of 2 he already had. BLUE Actual approved this leniency.
Part 2 of your mission is to watch the movie “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die” together with team BLUE, in a movie theater.
After you have scheduled your rendezvous, send me the date and time.
DO NOT BRING CELL PHONES TO YOUR RENDEZVOUS
Here is RED Actual’s phone number: [redacted]
In the end, 6/13 people showed up to the movie.
